Hmmm.....
Dear J.,
Another Spring Break is underway. The trip to Missouri was different this time. My kids and I made up "new" words to songs on the radio. They actually turned out quite funny in some cases. I'll spare you the "type" of songs we were making up but they are guaranteed to make one snicker. That was fun. Usually I take my music very seriously but for once, I just let go and had fun with it. The kids were pleasantly surprised.
We arrived on time (for once)....I believe that my ex-husband truly thinks that I'm chronically late on purpose.
I was also surprised that I didn't cry this time. My faith in God kicked in on time and I was able to get away without tears and without a consolation purchase. However, I did forget to get gas and almost got some extra walking in. Thankfully, the Lord got me to a gas station in adequate time and that was avoided.
My back apparently wasn't having as good a time as I was on the trip....when I got home, it was letting me know that it wanted my attention. I did what I do best. I ignored it. And, as always, when the body asks nicely for attention and I ignore it, it bypasses asking me nice a second time and goes straight to demanding my attention. It has learned how to get my attention rather well. Although I was not pleased with having to take my first pain pill in months, I was pleased because they make me so loopy that I managed to get out of having to play poker with my husband and his friends. Just not my idea of a good time. I enjoy my time with the remote and besides that, it was spring break. I officially was not the mama for a few days and I didn't want to spend my first "not the mama" night playing cards. I was loopy by myself on the couch and I enjoyed myself immensely. Okay, I don't remember if I enjoyed myself but I also didn't care. How's that?
Sunday our friends arrived and that was the highlight of my day. It's great to have them around. Having them close has just made our year! Our guest so nicely let me know that they think my coffee maker is just a tad too slow....I came home to find a Black & Decker coffee maker that makes coffee at the speed of sound! Okay, not quite that fast but alot faster than my old one. Hallelujah!
Today at lunch I saw something quite interesting....a gentleman had a bumper sticker on his minivan that read, "PAGAN AND PROUD". I find that very interesting. I was appalled at first. But I guess we all have a freedom to express our beliefs, whatever they may be and just because I don't agree with them, doesn't mean they can't still express them. But I was a bit shocked. I have not seen too many people so proudly wear their Anti-God apparel so blatantly. Usually, they keep that pretty quiet. Not this man. He is so proud of himself. And I must say his demeanor and facial expression certainly fit that sticker. I find it extremely sad that people exist that refuse to know God. I longed to stop him and ask why he was pagan and proud. And what motivated him to display that sticker so prominantly. I have alot of questions for him. Maybe someday I'll run into another "pagan and proud" and I will have the opportunity to ask my questions and maybe, just maybe, plant God's seed again.
On top of that disheartening sticker, I learned that my brother is at his tricks again. He so needs a good kick in the pants J. And I can't help but feel angry at my mother. She would be enjoying this I bet. She left him in charge and he's making a mess of her estate. My father is stressing about finances and my brother won't get a job. He has probably run through the money in the estate and if that is true, my oldest brother and I will hopefully have the opportunity to afford him the right to his consequences. We have battled him for most of our lives. My mother ruined him. Now he's out to ruin my father and I just won't let that happen J. If I have to bring my father down here temporarily so that we can allow consequences to catch up to him, so be it. Then I'll take him home if he wishes. But he is already stressing. I worry that I won't have him much longer. He is brokenhearted over the death of my mother, despite their having been divorced for 22 years. He even bought a plot next to her. If she were here, she'd flip. She wouldn't want to be buried next to him any more than she wanted to be married to him. Despite all she did to hurt him, he still loved her. Still does. If he couldn't be with her in life, then he will be beside her in death. Even though it means not being buried with the rest of his family. It is beyond belief. I find it so confusing. But what my dad wants, he will get. I respect his wishes though I don't understand them for the life of me. I love him so much. I'll do what he asks me. And it means so much to him. And I guess he will get what he wants from me as well. I won't be able to visit his grave without visiting hers too. He's going to bring us together no matter what. And believe me, that is a side benefit because his true desire is to be beside the woman he loves. Different strokes for different folks.....what a family I have J....
Another Spring Break is underway. The trip to Missouri was different this time. My kids and I made up "new" words to songs on the radio. They actually turned out quite funny in some cases. I'll spare you the "type" of songs we were making up but they are guaranteed to make one snicker. That was fun. Usually I take my music very seriously but for once, I just let go and had fun with it. The kids were pleasantly surprised.
We arrived on time (for once)....I believe that my ex-husband truly thinks that I'm chronically late on purpose.
I was also surprised that I didn't cry this time. My faith in God kicked in on time and I was able to get away without tears and without a consolation purchase. However, I did forget to get gas and almost got some extra walking in. Thankfully, the Lord got me to a gas station in adequate time and that was avoided.
My back apparently wasn't having as good a time as I was on the trip....when I got home, it was letting me know that it wanted my attention. I did what I do best. I ignored it. And, as always, when the body asks nicely for attention and I ignore it, it bypasses asking me nice a second time and goes straight to demanding my attention. It has learned how to get my attention rather well. Although I was not pleased with having to take my first pain pill in months, I was pleased because they make me so loopy that I managed to get out of having to play poker with my husband and his friends. Just not my idea of a good time. I enjoy my time with the remote and besides that, it was spring break. I officially was not the mama for a few days and I didn't want to spend my first "not the mama" night playing cards. I was loopy by myself on the couch and I enjoyed myself immensely. Okay, I don't remember if I enjoyed myself but I also didn't care. How's that?
Sunday our friends arrived and that was the highlight of my day. It's great to have them around. Having them close has just made our year! Our guest so nicely let me know that they think my coffee maker is just a tad too slow....I came home to find a Black & Decker coffee maker that makes coffee at the speed of sound! Okay, not quite that fast but alot faster than my old one. Hallelujah!
Today at lunch I saw something quite interesting....a gentleman had a bumper sticker on his minivan that read, "PAGAN AND PROUD". I find that very interesting. I was appalled at first. But I guess we all have a freedom to express our beliefs, whatever they may be and just because I don't agree with them, doesn't mean they can't still express them. But I was a bit shocked. I have not seen too many people so proudly wear their Anti-God apparel so blatantly. Usually, they keep that pretty quiet. Not this man. He is so proud of himself. And I must say his demeanor and facial expression certainly fit that sticker. I find it extremely sad that people exist that refuse to know God. I longed to stop him and ask why he was pagan and proud. And what motivated him to display that sticker so prominantly. I have alot of questions for him. Maybe someday I'll run into another "pagan and proud" and I will have the opportunity to ask my questions and maybe, just maybe, plant God's seed again.
On top of that disheartening sticker, I learned that my brother is at his tricks again. He so needs a good kick in the pants J. And I can't help but feel angry at my mother. She would be enjoying this I bet. She left him in charge and he's making a mess of her estate. My father is stressing about finances and my brother won't get a job. He has probably run through the money in the estate and if that is true, my oldest brother and I will hopefully have the opportunity to afford him the right to his consequences. We have battled him for most of our lives. My mother ruined him. Now he's out to ruin my father and I just won't let that happen J. If I have to bring my father down here temporarily so that we can allow consequences to catch up to him, so be it. Then I'll take him home if he wishes. But he is already stressing. I worry that I won't have him much longer. He is brokenhearted over the death of my mother, despite their having been divorced for 22 years. He even bought a plot next to her. If she were here, she'd flip. She wouldn't want to be buried next to him any more than she wanted to be married to him. Despite all she did to hurt him, he still loved her. Still does. If he couldn't be with her in life, then he will be beside her in death. Even though it means not being buried with the rest of his family. It is beyond belief. I find it so confusing. But what my dad wants, he will get. I respect his wishes though I don't understand them for the life of me. I love him so much. I'll do what he asks me. And it means so much to him. And I guess he will get what he wants from me as well. I won't be able to visit his grave without visiting hers too. He's going to bring us together no matter what. And believe me, that is a side benefit because his true desire is to be beside the woman he loves. Different strokes for different folks.....what a family I have J....
posted by Unknown | 1:06 PM
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