If we are the Body of Christ....

If we are the body of Christ, then how come so many Christians are ruining getting to know Jesus for so many? My thoughts? Well, here they are. I am a christian. I work to behave, in a way that shows Jesus to anyone I come across. Do I fail? Sure I do. But my goal is to do no harm. However, being a christian, that can be misconstrued to someone who doesn't understand Jesus. And if they don't know Jesus, they may have some idea of what He is like or NO idea what He is like, or a messed up idea of what He's like.
Some think all Jesus is is Love. This is true but they don't always understand the meaning of Love. That love can entail anger (anger without sin), consequences that are painful, (they can be interpreted as unfair or mean, etc) and other types of things that are easily misread.
I know that a lot of people have negative interactions with christians that are misunderstood and some that are truly not of a christian nature. It's sad to see people who have been hurt by the church or by an experience with someone portraying themselves as christian.
Being the body of Christ, we are to behave in a Christ-like manner. We are the hands, the feet, the arms, etc. We are the "seen" images of Christ. People see Christ in us. Or, they should see Christ in us.
I've gone through a long season of a spiritual drought. It's been tough. The first years were in the church. I struggled. I had a lot of things occur in my life and in our family and no one really reached out to us. We asked for help and got nothing. Oh there was a couple people that knew and talked to us but even their "reaching out" wasn't much and yet we saw those who didn't even ask get a lot more. I don't want to get too deep here so I'm going to stay on the surface but I'll go deeper than anyone I've encountered wants to go.

Christianity is not about the numbers in the church, it's not about the money that the church can rake in. It's about relationship. Missions are about relationship. The churches have it so wrong. Most of them do anyway. There is a movement underway to pursue relationship. However, it will be a long hard fight. Why? Because in order to pursue relationship, you must be willing to explore the depths of your own soul and that can be pretty tough to do. Most of the time people will choose to avoid that dirty little task. Wanna test the theory? Just wait until the next person (this is more fun to do in church) asks how you are. Instead of giving the expected "Fine" or "Good", give em the truth. "I'm not doing too well"...and launch into the spiel of whatever isn't going well at that point. Watch the deer in headlight look appear and they will itch to get away. They don't like that. They don't really want to know. They are only asking because it is the polite thing to do or they believe that they are expected to come off as caring. Especially in the church. They only care if it is convenient and even then, most of the time they just want to get away. During Bible study, try going deeper into the study and examine the below the surface things that are sure to be a part of the discussion. Most of the time, it's given a word or two or ignored altogether. Once in a while there is an exception and there will be someone willing to explore but try to get them to open up about themselves. You don't get a lot of responses.

The church is for the lost and found. But try standing up in church and telling your "church family" that you recently committed adultery and you know it was wrong and you feel terrible and are working to repair your family and find out what happens. I guarantee you that if you want love and forgiveness, it's probably not going to come. What will come is whispering and snubbing. Try getting up and telling your church family that you are thinking of having an affair or you are thinking of beating the crap out of your neighbor because you found out he stole some tools out of your garage and see what kind of reaction you get. Stand up and tell your church family that you just lost it in a staff meeting at work because you and another co worker butt heads. You were placed on administrative leave and won't be paid and need help. Name anything. It's doesn't matter. No one will do that to themselves. Why? Mostly, we don't stand up and tell the church family things that we have done usually because we are ashamed of ourselves and we are embarrassed to admit we may have made bad choices. Or, maybe we don't say anything because it isn't our behavior but the behavior of a family member and we are protecting them from embarrassment. Or, maybe, we just can't trust our church family. And why would we feel that way? Because it's not hard to read how others may react. When all you get are superficial greetings and snubbing, you kind of have to wonder if you bare your heart, if it will be safe.
I haven't been to my old church for a few years now. Since leaving (at the time with health issues, along with other things going on that were no secret in the church), not one church member has called me. Only one couple has run into me and said that they missed me and asked how I was doing. One. My ex-husband cares more about me and how I'm doing than anyone else in the church. As a matter of fact, I ran into both former church members and current church members recently. The church members snubbed me while the former church members made conversation and asked how I was doing. Interesting to say the least.
 The pastor/reverend/priest are counselors. They are leaders and they can and are supposed to help. However, the congregation are your brothers and sisters in Christ and they are there to help and support and engage with you. A personal relationship with Christ does exist one on one.  But the family is there to be a family. You eat together. You serve together. You worship together. You raise families together. you are often living in the same neighborhoods and attend the same community events, etc.  But relationship is so far from a natural occurrence. Occasionally we will work for relationship. The church pastor will even preach about it. But watch the church behave and see if they practice relationship. Because a relationship is not just something that you have. A relationship is something you build. You work on it. You maintain it.  You love it and protect it. And, yes, I believe, you practice relationship.
I'm a christian and have been snubbed by my brothers and sisters in Christ. It's no wonder someone who does not know Jesus runs for the hills at the first hint of "religion". People are people. They are all the same in that, they want/need to be loved and accepted for who they are. We are all "broken" people that are searching for wholeness and healing.
I'm out of practice with this writing thing. I need to work on it. So a lot of what I write will be raw. I will have moments where what I write comes out really well....and at other times, maybe not so well.
So just take it for what it is...

Relationship/Recovery/Restoration

I have come to a conclusion. It's more than likely a temporary conclusion but it's a conclusion nonetheless. I have no control over my life. There's a lot going on that is out of my control. The conclusion? My life is not ever going to be on an even keel. That's the conclusion. Now. What will I do about it? That's a good question. And there are several things that need to be done but I'm going to go about this in a way that I have not gone about things before. Why? It's the "if you do what you have always done you will get what you have always gotten". It's going to take time. That requires some patience. Of which I have little. It's going to take courage. Of which I have some....doesn't feel like a lot but I guess I will find that out along the way. It's going to take perseverance. That's going to be difficult but I'm going to buckle up and hang on. It's going to take a lot of things I don't know about right now. Am I scared? YES! I'm working on not being scared. Fear is debilitating. There's too much to explain here but the main point of this entry is to recommit to my journaling. I'm going to commit to journaling again. For me. For others. It's not to say "look at me". It's to say, "here I am. Here's what I've been through. Here's what I'm going through. Here's how I got through. Here's the lessons I've learned and what I'm learning now." Someone out there may need to know that someone else is going through a similar journey in life. They may be touched. They may learn. They may actually be able to share a part of themselves with me. I'm not writing to just touch/reach others. I'm writing in hopes that I'm touched as well. Selfish? No. I'm saying, "I'm out here in life and I know others are too. Let's help each other. Let's learn about each other and walk through life together. Even if we encounter each other for only a season, let's do that. Because I know that relationships make living life easier and better. It's not things that make our lives incredible. It's the people in our lives that make our lives incredible. Relationships are vital. It's relationships with people that make our lives worth living. Relationships provide us with purpose. We need to focus on meeting people where they are and really get to know them and listen to them about what they need. There is always a time and place for everything. For years, there has been a need to build a movement toward relationships. Not a 5 minute relationship. A more enduring relationship. And it can look different from relationship to relationship. Some relationships are front line relationships. That's where we meet the person head on and develop a lasting relationship. Another time, we might be the supporting relationship. We partner with the front line to support what is needed. We may offer something that is needed in support of the front line relationship to be maintained. Involvement can come in at very different levels. It's not about "fixing". It's not about pity. It's not about empathy. It's about consoling. It's about treating the person as a whole being and not something to be fixed. People are in need of support, not fixing. Don't get me wrong. I am not saying that there is not a need for a relief effort. There are times when relief is appropriate. That's not the area I'm targeting. We need to change the way we help others. The focus has been to meet this need or that need. The symptoms are treated but the problem still remains. What if we had a paradigm shift? What if we stepped up and grabbed hold of a hand of someone in need and said, "How can we walk through this together?" We need to start asking ourselves, is this a need for relief or restoration?
I have always been drawn to relationships. I want to help people. I haven't done a lot of that lately. I've been in dire need myself. My life fell apart. All aspects of it. I feel much like a zombie. I've been hit so many times that I feel a lot like the walking dead. And the hits keep coming. In the entries that follow, I will be writing about those things. I don't pretend to be a good writer. I don't pretend to always have clear thoughts about things. Sometimes I can write about things and the words just flow. At other times, my head and my heart just cannot get it together. I don't even know where to begin so I will have to go where my heart leads me. And I will cover a lot of things. Divorce, depression, multiple surgeries, relationships, work stresses, health, co worker stresses, children, parents, friends, God, church, finances as well as a lot of other things.